A Lesson Learned OR a Learned Behavior: Do What Makes You Feel Good, Others Have No Place In The Equation Of You And Your Joy

Originally posted Jul 21, 2017;
Edited and Reposted June 25, 2023

A Lesson Learned or More Accurately Described as a Learned Behavior:
“Do What Makes You Feel Good, Others Have No Place In The Equation Of You And Your Joy!” ~Roz Fruchtman

True Confession Time:
While I seem like a very positive person all the time, that is a learned behavior.  It was not always like that.

I work VERY hard at keeping myself positive, joyful, motivated and inspired!

I make a conscious effort to look for things to prop me up, things that I can do for myself (and by myself), that bring me joy!

When that doesn’t work, I usually lean in more closely to my spiritual side and listen to either Joyce Meyer or Joel Osteen, and if that doesn’t work, I’ll move to my creative side which includes writing, image creation, coloring, and the like, and if that doesn’t work I may take a time out and watch my favorite TV, Prime Video or Hulu shows.  These three things are not necessarily done in this order, but my point in sharing is to show that it does not matter what you do to get yourself back on track, as long as you know what to do and where to go for help.

Self-help rocks, but sometimes we need to talk it out too!  There is no one-size fits all for everyone! One of the things we all have in common is we are ALL human beings with feelings!

I’ve learned from experience… looking to others for one’s joy is a mistake and a disappointment waiting to happen.  Others can’t fix us, we need to fix ourselves!  We need to be our own cheerleaders!  

Some years ago I started to share a quote of the day.  Some of the quotes were by others and some were my own.  Those that were my own, were inspired by my personal life experiences at that time. The quotes demonstrated life lessons I learned along the way and that inspired and motivated me.  To add more value… I shared my personal comments and feelings on the subject.

While we are all unique and have our own special gifts and talents… There are some things about us that are not unique and are shared by others — feelings is one of them.  Therefore, I had hoped the quotes would inspire others as well, however, they received little attention.


When my offerings did not receive much attention or engagement as it’s known as on social networking sites, I got discouraged and stopped writing and sharing the quotes. BUT… Something VERY odd happened! I began to notice an emptiness from within.  Oddly enough the quotes were like therapy and gave me a voice to share my thoughts and feelings.  They actually kept ME inspired!


Sometimes we do things for the wrong reasons.  Our allegiance must be to ourselves first.  We need to do things that make us feel good, that inspire and motivate us, that bring us joy.  Expecting others to make us feel good or acknowledge our efforts is a mistake and disappointment waiting to happen.  I knew all this, but like you, I am a human being and sometimes we all need a little outside encouragement… WRONG!!! LEARN TO ENCOURAGE YOURSELF!!!!  HOW? Revisit a past success! Everyone did something they are proud of, whether it’s something others know about or a personal achievement that we are excited and enthusiastic about or where at time of accomplishment! It could be as simple as getting through a difficult time in tact!

Find things that will prop you up, make you feel good about yourself, inspire you to move you toward fulfilling your dreams while filling you up so that you will have more to share with others.  REMEMBER:  We are all people first!

A Lesson Learned or More Accurately Described as a Learned Behavior:
“Do What Makes You Feel Good, Others Have No Place In The Equation Of You And Your Joy!” ~Roz Fruchtman


I am a fan and follower of Joyce Meyer. Joyce’s teachings are non-denominational and can apply to everyone. Some years ago Joyce Meyer wrote a book which I keep by my bedside — A review is below:


What makes “100 Ways To Simplify Your Life” unique for me, is… The book will not only simplify your life, but will bring you peace and guide you to make your own decisions. Each of the 100 ways can be read alone, independent of each other!  The review will share a little game I play with it!


I would love to hear your thoughts and comments on the subject.  Please type them in the Comment Box below. I look forward to sharing more with you. Let’s create a “society of inspiration!”

“THANK YOU” for taking the time to read this.  Please click on one of the Share Buttons to share.  I’d bet that more than one person needs to hear what I’ve said here, not because I’m so wise, but because I’m not unique in my feelings, thoughts and doubts. We all have a lot of company in the way we are feeling!


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Roz Fruchtman
aka @RozSpirations and @PhotoshopHaven on Twitter and Facebook